You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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