What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
