My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
