Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
