That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
