I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
