dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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