I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
