So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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