Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
