they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
