Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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