i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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