I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
