BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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