So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
