Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Everything about him screamed your future.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
ttyl tear gas
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
