I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
