Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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