Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
