it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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