So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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