you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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