OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Floor bacon is actually really good
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
