wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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