i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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