32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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