i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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