who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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