I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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