she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
