Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
