I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
4 words: hood of his car
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's like heaven, but drunker
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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