community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
