the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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