This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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