this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
