ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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