Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm passing your future prison.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
