ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize