and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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