he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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