my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
