I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
