I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
