she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
