i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize