Just cropdusted the office
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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