Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up under a house in Key West
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
