I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize