BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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