Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
