I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
