I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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