It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
