I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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