Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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