this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Randomize
