At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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